The raisins were brought out on a silver platter. We were each given one to sit in the palm of our hands. Wilde then guided us on a gourmet dining experience.

He had us study the raisin closely. We looked at the ridges and bumps. We imagined the raisin when it was a plump juicy grape on a vine, covered in dew, catching the morning sun. We followed the journey of the grape from being picked to drying out slowing in the hot sun, squeezing itself into its current form. We held our raisin between the thumb and forefinger, looking at it from all angles, holding it up to the light.

We closed our eyes and smelled our single raisin. Subtle yet intense at the same time. Never really noticed much smell before.

We placed our raisin between our front teeth. Held it there gently while we explored the texture with our tongues.

Then we let the raisin fall gently into our mouth where we rolled it around and played with it. The whole process took maybe three to four minutes before we finally got to take a bite and enjoy the taste explosion in our mouths. Such incredibly intense flavour.

I recommend you try this at home. I’ve since seen and done the exercise in various other forms but what I like about it is that is shows us how very easy it is to shift our perspectives. In this case, by slowing down and appreciating the finer details of a particular experience, the experience itself becomes much more rewarding and satisfying.

Think of all the other experiences that you could enrich by following the same process. It can be a walk in nature, spending time with your children, cooking a meal for your family, listening to some music from a totally different perspective… The options are endless.

Even the experiences we might previously think of as boring can be turned around by appreciating the finer details. That’s what I call Raisin Consciousness.

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He’s recently developed an interest in spear fishing. Hasn’t done it yet as he needed to do a ‘free diving’ course first (free diving = diving without scuba gear). So that’s where he’s been the past three days.

Suddenly he’s an information sponge. It turns out free diving is surprisingly intense and complex. It requires discipline, focus, concentration, trust, courage, respect, understanding of the sea and a reasonable understanding of how the body works. He’s learned more about biology in the past three days than in the past three years. He’s learned about pain management, the power of the mind and the importance of maintaining a healthy body. He’s talking about taking up yoga so he can be in peak form for diving.

Ask him to describe what happens to the lungs as you go deep and the answer flows like he’s the teacher. Out come the pen and paper. Diagrams are drawn. Concepts are explained. This kid is really taking things in. That’s my boy!

Ask him what to do if your diving buddy is in trouble. Bam – he rattles off the drill with military precision, throwing in a couple of moves for visual effect. That’s my boy!

He’s showed such commitment to the task that the diving instructor has offered extra lessons and diving experiences in exchange for chores at the dive centre. That’s my boy!

It’s a joy to see him come alive like this. It makes the average results at school seem irrelevant and unimportant.

It’s a nice follow up to a speech his Principal gave the week before at a ceremony for his older sister’s year. The Principal said the students he remembers most are not those that achieve the highest results, but those who discovered and lived their passion in their school years.

If only they were the rule rather than the exception. I don’t pretend to have all the answers when it comes to fixing the education system – some might say it works fine as it is – but the one size fits all strategy doesn’t seem to work. Something needs to shift.

It’s worth asking the question, what needs to change so kids can make the connection between learning and what interests them? How many kids are switched off because they haven’t connected ‘life’ with school? Sports high schools and performing arts high schools are a step in the right direction but what else can be done to meet the needs of kids that don’t fit those molds?

Maybe the middle years of high school could be more about experiences and experimentation, giving the kids an opportunity to test things out. Spending time on farms and in factories. Enjoying the company of artists and entrepreneurs. Doing service work for those less fortunate. Maybe even have a taste of the military. Less desk time and more time out in the field.

It sounds expensive. It sounds complicated. It also sounds exciting, potentially productive and could possibly give these kids an edge in their senior high school years they might not otherwise have. Could even be fun for the teachers.

My son may or may not sustain his interest in free diving and spear fishing – only time will tell. Either way, he’s had a reminder that we all have an inherent yearning for learning. If we can meet him halfway, adapt our approach and allow him more of these opportunities in the coming years, he could well be one of those kids that the Principal remembers long after he’s left the school. More importantly, he himself will have fond memories of his teenage schooling years as being fun, exciting and full of rich and deep learning experiences. What more could anyone ask for?

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The market’s saturated, we’ve left our run too late. I’m too small. We don’t have the experience to take this on. We’ll never be able to compete with the big guys. I don’t have a unique selling proposition. I’m too young/old. I don’t know enough.

These are the often imaginary fences that we put up. They limit the field we’re playing in. The fences are made with words like can’t, won’t, don’t, never, unable, not enough…

Who says the market is saturated? A lot of competition suggests there might be a big enough market to handle it. Even if it is saturated, there is always room for a stand out performer in any market.

How do you know you are too small? Maybe there’s a way to turn your small size to your advantage.

How do you know you don’t have enough experience – and even if you don’t, why should that stop you? Maybe you can partner with someone with the necessary experience to take it on.

Who says you can’t compete with the big guys? Maybe it’s them who will never be able to compete with you.

Who says you have to have a unique selling proposition? Sometimes being good at what you do is all you need.

Why is age relevant?

How much is enough?

This is how fences become gates. How playing fields become larger. The best tools for making gates are questions. How can we…? What if? Why not? What would it take?

I’m always on the lookout for fences that clients put up in front of themselves. I help them look for the weak links, break the locks, make the hinges, pull or push the gates open.

Sometimes the fence remains a fence – we can’t go through it, over it or under it. We have to make the most of the field we are playing in.

It’s always worth asking the question though. Is it a fence or a gate?

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I’m still processing what I learned but the big take home for me was that advice or insights on the personal level really need to be structured to match the lens of the recipient. Generic tips that resonate or produce an ‘aha moment’ for one person might just get a shrug of the shoulders from another.

While that seems obvious – we are all different after all – the enneagram provides a framework so we can at least talk to the fundamental concern of a particular enneagram ‘type’.

Take time management for example. One system or approach might work beautifully for a person of one type on the enneagram while leaving someone of another type totally bewildered. Yet another type might wonder why on earth you would want to ‘manage’ time in the first place. Having spent countless hours implementing various forms of David Allen’s GTD approach and more recently lusting after Danielle LaPorte’s seductively simple approach to time management, the enneagram gives me hope that I can find something in between. Just knowing what really motivates me has already made a big difference.

I don’t know enough about the subject to be more specific at this stage or to offer any time management insights but will let you know when I do.

An enneagram expert would have probably worked out my type within the first few words of the second paragraph. “I’m still processing…” tells the reader I’m a Type Five on the enneagram – The Observer/Investigator. Type Fives are always gathering information. We want to know how the universe works so we’re always gathering information, processing it, then gathering more…

The expert would equally know how hard it is for me to publish the fifth paragraph – “I don’t know enough about…” For Type Fives that’s our dirty little secret – we hope and pray that you won’t find out that we don’t know enough. To say it publicly is one of the bravest things a Type Five can do. To blog about it is like jumping from a plane without a parachute (especially when the blog isn’t even finished).

What better way could there be to take the reluctant yet compulsive step into the world of blogging? Sign up below for updates – you never know what other dirty little secrets I might dare to share.

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